Welcome to the Neighbourhood.

Well, we're finally moved in. It took two weeks to finish the painting and flooring on the new house. Internet is finally up and the phone now works. So everyone who has been trying to get in touch with me can untie their knickers.

Funny place Yellowknife. I met the neighbours. What a hoot. Let's call them Hank, Boomhauer, Bill and Dale. Hank lives next door and works in the mines. Typically, two weeks working at the mine and one week off. Apparently there is no alcohol allowed anywhere in the camp. So, he makes up for it when he comes home.

Boomhauer is an entertaining fellow who lives in the RV parked on Hank's front lawn. "Twenty five years as a carpenter and still have all my fingers!" Proud as punch. He's a little hard to understand after a couple of pints, but pay attention, because he's got tons of stories to tell you.



Bill is a career handyman and cook. Spends most of his time hooking up with Hank when he's back from the mine and doing maintenance for a local Italian restaurant when he's not. Seems to be the happiest fellow I've come across, since Moses brought beer down from the mountain.

Dale is also a mine worker who fits in like a sausage cart at a Canadian Tire. Between the lot of them, a friendly chaos ensues every two weeks when they're back.


And then there's the Redneck Shack...


Words simply don't due justice to this injustice. The Shack is the social core where Hank, Boomhauer, Bill and Dale spend their off-duty days and most of the nights. Within is only for esteemed guests of the most gracious hosts.



A stern warning is posted at the entrance for those not welcome in the inner sanctum sanctorum. Steel yourself before entrance because this is truly the Redneck Haven of the North.



Decor is Jeff Foxworthy meets Ron Jeremy. Autographed posters of the feature entertainers from the local strip bar wallpaper and insulate the Shack. Various machines lie in different states of repair/creation furnish this diverse den.

But the coup de gras is mounted in the corner. This particular grail cannot be photographed, so I'll describe it as best I can.


Yellowknife's off-season is expectedly frigid, so the side effects of consumption in the Shack need to be dealt with without exposing your jewels to the sub-zero environment. This tricky solution consists of a large funnel mounted waist-high in the corner. Surrounding the tinkle target is a pair of full, red metal lips fabricated and painted in the style of a Rolling Stones album cover. Above this luscious lavvie is a picture of a chihuahua from behind with a latex vagina affixed over it's ass. Push to flush.

The boys are truly some of the most hospitable people I've ever met and always a genuine treat to visit with. Friendlier neighbours you'll never find and certainly none with more character, personality and a true lust for life.

I'm sure you'll hear more, later.

Jerry